Come on GAVIN! You're great at this mushy storyline type stuff, give us a hand!

I think you guys are doing better than I would, but I'll give it a closer look tonight and see if I can suggest anything else. 

Yes change she said to you said.

Ok I think I have all the changes here. How's it looking Tony? I can't recall if you wanted the bridge or not or something different.

A fresh cup of coffee for my Monday morning blues

Intro

You shook your head said you’re a mess.

You dress like you don’t care.

You need to shave and take a bath.

Run a comb thru your hair.

Verse

Had too many things I didn’t need

Had too much on my mind.

I’d misplaced feelings I should’ve had

Forgotten how to shine.

Pre chorus

I was on a bender, smashed my fender.

I was feeling blue.

Needed someone tender to stir up the embers

Then I met you.

Chorus

You fill my heart with wonder.

You’re a Morning glory bloom.

You’re that fresh cup of coffee

I look forward to.

For my Monday morning blues.

Verse

Don’t think about work much these days.

I’ve got you on my mind.

Don’t give a damn what people think.

A foolish waste of time.

Pre chorus

I was on a bender, smashed my fender.

I was feeling blue.

Needed someone tender to fire up cold embers

Then I met you.

Chorus

You fill my heart with wonder.

You’re a Morning glory bloom.

You’re a fresh cup of coffee

For my Monday morning blues.

Bridge

The windows are clean the suns shining in

The garden’s in bloom.

I’m feeling like I haven’t felt in years.

All because of you.

Verse

Had too many things I didn’t need

Had too much on my mind.

I shut out feelings I should’ve had

Forgotten how to shine.

@allforthelord

Yeah!  That's it, I say!  The tempo of the original line threw me a bit.

Japov, I CANNOT write a song, but in my mind, I was really expecting a much more uptempo melody and stuff, since the theme is being pulled from darkness... 

"fill my heart with wonder" the "fill" I think would be stronger without so much movement, just hold one note, IMHO (Do people write that anymore?)

She shook her head said you’re a mess, and you dress like you don’t care
You need to shave and take a bath, run a comb through that hair
You've got too many things you don't need, too much on your mind
You've replaced your feelings with other leanings, you're way out of line

I was gone on a bender from summer to winter, tired and feeling blue
Then someone tender made me remember, that's when I met you
You fill my heart with wonder, you’re a morning glory bloom
You’re a fresh cup of coffee that I look forward to...
I'm so in love with you

She said forget about tomorrow, live for today, keep me in your mind
Don’t worry about what others think, a foolish waste of time
The windows are clean, the sun's shining in, the garden is in bloom
Let play like young lovers in the spring, forget the morning blues

Love it. Probably sings better too.

I was thinking Gavin should do another duet with... what's her name......

@Jenny Stokes 😉

Hey duet not a bad idea. Don't mind spreading the credita around to whoever contributed.

@japov

It could certainly be done as a duet with a few changes, but it would make it a totally different song. I'm not sure it would be better.

Here's an idea for a change. I like the perfect rhyme and it develops the image a little further

You fill my heart with wonder, you’re a morning glory bloom
You’re a fresh cup of coffee in a sunlit living room...
I'm so in love with you

Lol... While you're holding a broom 🙂

Man you guys are a riot. Never a dull moment!