Hello Gav,

Well of course I like this, I just want to know where this guy got a drink for a dime Thank You for sharing and keep on keepin on.  Best wishes,

Speak soon 

Thanks Deac. Well, I meant that he had spent every last dime on booze, but if I find somewhere you can get a drink for a dime, I will be sure to let you know.  

In response to a suggestion I got elsewhere, I tried adding some fairly subtle harmonies to the chorus of this song. On balance, I'm not sure if they improve it. They do add a bit of body to the vocals, but maybe there's something more plaintive and heart-felt about the bare vocal without them. I've listened too much and can't judge, so, if anyone has a moment and feels like helping out, please listen and tell me which you think is better. The verses have not had anything added, only the choruses

Original version without harmonies

Version with harmonies

https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/oh-my-friend-2/s-PDxvH

Also, I'm still not happy with the rather lame title. I'm toying with "The Needle's Tip" and "Closer Friends." Neither of these appears until the last lines of the last chorus, which would not normally be a great idea, but there's nothing else that suggests itself, except what I have now, which just seems really bland. In an age where people click to listen, something as bland as that is a bit of a no-no. What do you think?

Oh Lord. Definitely with harmony. DEFINITELY.

I'm as uncertain about the title as you. When is it right to break convention? I like "Buried my Soul," but that's only mentioned once.

"No Coat to Keep me Warm????"

"Closer Friends" is good, but I'm not so much a fan of  "The Needle's Tip" (simply because the song is mostly about his relationship with booze).

A Lyric can usually be judged by Structure. Does it have 'enough' Repetition to supply Structure the listener/reader can identify and relate to? Does it have 'enough' Change to keep it Structurally interesting? Even the Change can Repeat to supply Structure.
Also, the function of a Verse is to do Exposition of the storyline, to set the scene, to put the props on the stage where the Characters can act out the play. Then, a Chorus delivers the punch line, makes the point, sums up the story's main idea. Ideally, a Chorus Repeats identically, driving home the ideas in it as that main idea.
This Lyric breaks some of those 'rules'. But it's a different kind of storyline, so perhaps a different set of rules can apply.
Rules, in Songwriting, a fellow named Andy Rasmussen once said (justplainfolks), are more like 'Tools' than 'Rules'.
A different 'use' of the 'tools' enables the Songwriter to craft a different product.

MY FRIEND
(Since each giving of the Chorus opens with "Oh" I'd say that dictates the title as "Oh, My Friend". The storyline is all about this friend whose kindness, offered to HIS old friend, found in a condition of desperation, is befriended anew, only to find his old friend has new friends he values more. In a Coda to end you might sing, "Oh, My Friend" a couple times to fade and finish.)
(Words & Music by Gavin Sinclair)

Hello, old friend
It’s great to see you again
It’s been such a hell
Of a long, long time
I’d buy you a beer
But my credit’s no good here
And I just drank my last dime

Can I sleep at your place?
It’s good to see a friendly face
A night or two
Is all I’ll stay
There’s some guys on the street
That I’d really rather not meet
A couple of bills
That I can’t pay
(Below is the first giving of the Chorus. Instead of making the main point it seems to do more Exposition, the function of a Verse. I think a later version of the Chorus would make a better Structure, used here as well as later. But I see the story development, also, in these Chorus variations, and that Structure can work too.)

Oh, my friend, it’s so cold out there
I have no coat to keep me warm
Traded my good shoes
To a guy I know for booze
And it looks like it’s going to storm

You know, Jenny’s gone
I’m surprised it took this long
After all
That I put her through
Got in a fight
When my boss didn’t look at me right
Lost my job
And my home too
(This second giving of the Chorus is more the Summary style I would expect. I'd delete the 'And' in Line 4, saying, "No one cares when I come home.")

Oh, my friend, it’s so cold in here ('in here' referring to inside himself, the 'cold' perspective of one who has accepted misery as his fate.)
I have no hope to keep me warm
Buried my soul in a dusty hell-hole
And no-one cared when I came home

(Musical break)(The Beatles referred to an "Instrumental Interlude". I think perhaps it is more simply called an "Instrumental Bridge", serving the same function as a Lyrical Bridge, a break in the Repetition, Change, to keep it interesting, brief, and enabling Repetition to resume, welcomed back by the listener who has 'learned' the Melody of the Verse/Chorus in previous givings and doesn't mind now, after the Change, to hear them again.)

Sorry man
I swear this wasn’t the plan
I’ll pay you back
When I get clean
But those guys on the street
Need their cash to keep them sweet
Or else they’re going
To be looking for me
(Below the third giving of the Chorus continues the 'Expositional Chorus' style, which justifies the 'breaking' of the 'Identical Chorus Repeat Rule' in favor of the 'using' of the 'Crafting Tool'. Part of Songwriting is Creative Inspiration that pops into your head and out of your mouth, onto paper; part is Crafting, deliberate decision-making regarding what words to use, what words to edit out, what ideas to employ to enable the Singer-Character to tell their story.)

Oh, my friend, we both know where this’ll end
I have to do what I have to do
And the needle’s tip and the bottle to my lip
Are closer friends than you

Thanks Jen and Gary. Regarding the title, I think it might have been staring me in the face the whole time. "Hello, Old Friend." It's the first line of the song.