Hello Brendan, Thank you for sharing this, I truly enjoyed it.  I see what you are talking about with the use of the verse twice.  A second verse would be great if you can come up with one.  The song is a great praise and worship song, do you want to mess that up.  Good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon

@deacon

Thanks! I actually tried to write a second verse and I shared it with my two high-schoolers who were at the retreat. Both of them told me the way I had it originally was how they knew it. My son emphatically said, "Dad, I don't want to learn more words. Please don't change it." But of course, the musician in me is always looking to get it just right. But that said, I'll probably keep it as-is for now, but it won't be a priority. 🙂

Even though I'm not very religious, I can appreciate a good worship song, so I enjoyed listening to this. I definitely think it needs a different second verse. There's plenty of repetition with the pre-chorus and the long chorus.

In the last line of the pre-chorus, I would go up on the word "there" to kind of lift into the chorus.

My favorite bit of the song was where you pause the music for the line "I just want to say" at the start of the pre-chorus. I wasn't expecting it, but it fit perfectly. I didn't think it fit so well, when you did it again for the line "'Cause you always lift me up," but that was probably just me.

Good one, Brendan. I can see why the kids like it so much.

@gavin

Thanks, Gavin! It's still so new that I'm probably going to let it lie as-is for a little while before I add that second verse. But I like the suggestion about going up on the last line of the pre-chorus. Again, thanks!

@gavin

I was going to just let it sit, but I got a wild hair and decided to add a second verse.

Lord You fill my life with wonder
Through all of Your creation and
And the joy that it brings to me
Fills up all of my days
So I lay my life before You
Humbled by Your love
That shines around me and
Through me and drives me
Into Your Grace

Also went up on the last line of the pre-chorus. Good call! Thanks!

Hello Brendan, for a wild hair, it looks and speaks pretty good, I can imagine that it works well with the music.  Sure would like to hear it with the new second verse is sung.  Good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon

Yes, I think that works better. Great song.

@deacon

I provided the link in my reply to Gavin. You can check it out there. 🙂

Great job Brendan, fits like a glove.  Good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon

Posted by: @init4themusic

Nicely done  

As I was listening, several things occurred to me.

If nothing else, they may serve as food-for-thought.

• Yeah, the repeated verse is a little unusual, but not unheard of. There's an old C S & N tune in which the entire lyric is repeated. That said, were this my tune, I'd probably write a unique 2nd verse for it.
• I couldn't help wondering how it might sound if you were insert the bridge immediately after your 2nd verse...then move into the final chorus. That would eliminate the need for your 3rd chorus & shorten the song a wee bit. Certainly not a big deal, but I figured I'd mention it.
• And finally...speaking as a drummer, I love the movement & energy of your melody, but the drum track didn't seem an appropriate fit for it? The 2 didn't seem to work well together & they should. It may be worth the effort to experiment with a few options.

Good luck with the tune...truly enjoyed the listen !

Thanks for the feedback! I truly appreciate it! I've been in India for the past week, so I haven't been keeping up with personal stuff due to work. I actually did write a second unique verse. It's in the second post I made above. Don't know about doing the bridge right after the second verse. I'll play around it. And yeah... I know I've got to play around with the drum track. 🙂 I'm just using GarageBand, so I have limited options. But I may be able to find a drummer/variant that will work. 

Again, thanks so much for the feedback!