Notifications
Clear all

The window of my soul


ckiphen
(@ckiphen)
Noble Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 1374
Topic starter  

 

The window of my soul

Verse

In a room sat a man in the shadows.

Disappointment hung in the air.

It was rife with the stench of his failures.

Frigid with the air of dispair.

Pre chorus

He met a girl who changed his world.

One dark dreary day.

Opened the window to his soul

And everything changed.

Chorus

A ray of hope came shining in.

Her heart warmed a heart grown cold.

Like a sea breeze off the ocean

Thru the window of his soul.

Verse

In his life came the joy he was missing.

Exuberance shined in her eyes.

She was a bird in the sky an angel.

Brought love back to his dismal life.

Pre chorus

I met a girl who changed my world.

One dark dreary day.

Opened the window to my soul

And everything changed.

Chorus

A ray of hope came shining in.

Her heart warmed a heart grown cold.

Like a sea breeze off the ocean

Thru the window of my soul.

Tag

The window of my soul.

 

 

 

carroll kiphen


Quote
Gavin
(@gavin)
Prominent Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 949
 

A nice poetic feel to this, Carroll. I might change a couple of things.

In his life came the joy he was missing.

Exuberance shined in her eyes.

to

In his life came the joy he was missing.

When he glimpsed the joy in her eyes.

It provides that moment of connection.

 

Like a sea breeze off the ocean

to

Like a gentle breeze off the ocean

or

Like a summer breeze off the ocean

A breeze off the ocean is by definition a se breeze 🙂

 

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


ReplyQuote
YrralMallik
(@yrralmallik)
Noble Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 1089
 

Enjoyed Da Read.

Larry G. Killam


ReplyQuote
Share: