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Topic starter
31/08/2021 8:31 am
Rivers of Destiny
You wanted them dangerous, you wanted them mean.
I was the friendship you ran to between,
Flings with the bad boy, the loser, the cheat.
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet.
You wanted adventure, you wanted the thrill.
You wanted a guy with looks that could kill.
I wasn’t that dangerous, just steady and kind.
You were drawn to a boy with a dangerous mind.
You weathered the dating and found yourself wed;
Woke up his anger with things that you said.
He’d hit you and slap you and push you around,
Threaten to kill you if he ever found
That you’d called in the cops or were trying to leave.
If you doubted his fury he’d make you believe.
Last night he left for a night on the town,
Came home drunk and knocked you around.
He passed out cold on the living room floor and
You grabbed a few things and ran for the door.
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet.
You turned at the corner and drove down my street.
I’d never seen you beaten and battered so bad
Broken and crying, sadder than sad.
I laid you down on my old feather bed;
Sat on the sofa holding my head;
Waiting in silence for his knock at the door and
The yelling and cussing and calling you whore.
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet;
On calm Monday morning, he turned on my street;
Tried to push past me when I opened the door,
Screaming and cussing “I’ll kill me a whore”.
He was lying there beaten and bloody as hell.
She tugged on my sleeve and I woke from the spell;
I was dangerously different as she held on my arm.
She could see that my love was a fortress from harm;
Anger that flowed from love and not hate.
Rivers of destiny flow to their fate.
carroll kiphen
YrralMallik liked
30/07/2022 12:49 pm
Scratch track... Room for a last line?
https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14467451
Drawn to the flame, loving the thrill
Hot for the guy with the looks that kill
I'm not so reckless, I bide my time
You were the angel with sin on her mind
You liked'em dangerous, you liked'em mean
I was the friend that you kept in between
Flings with the bad boy, the bruiser, and the cheat
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet
You met your match with a Harley an' tattoos
He revved you up and made you say I do
He'd hit the bottle then slap you around
Threaten to kill you if he ever found out
That you called the cops, or tried to leave
If you doubted his fury he'd make you believe
One night he left for a night on the town
Came home hopped up and knocked you down
Passed out cold with his boots on his feet
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet
Moment of clarity, made up your mind
Life's too short, you gotta' leave this time
You grabbed your purse, mashed the gas to the floor
Screaming mad you made your way to my door
I'd never seen you battered so bad
Broken and crying, sadder than sad
The witching hour, you finally closed your eyes
Waiting in silence I took off my disguise
I'd hear that bike coming down the street
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet
Sunday morning, sun burning red
God forgive me for the thoughts in my head
Tried to push by me when he kicked in the door
Screamin' and cussin' bout'a worthless whore
My brass knuckles really rang his bell
Put him down toothless and bloody as hell
Dangerous and different as you held my arm
You saw my kindness was a fortress from harm
Love is vicious when hearts are in sync
Rivers of destiny flow till they meet
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
Topic starter
30/07/2022 1:41 pm
I really appreciate you doing this lyric. The changes you made fit perfectly. Was a long time coming.
carroll kiphen
Topic starter
30/07/2022 1:43 pm
how do i download or are you going to do more on it?
carroll kiphen
30/07/2022 1:50 pm
This is just a quick rough, options are wide open! Last line?
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
Topic starter
30/07/2022 2:56 pm
like a river to the sea
fates brought you back to me.
or
you and i were meant to be
rivers of destiny
carroll kiphen
30/07/2022 3:53 pm
Exactly! Something to emphasize "Rivers of Destiny" one last time just to piss of CouchGrouch lol...
But it has to sing like the other stand-alone lines...
Hey @Gavin @Gary-E-Andrews, we could use some more input here... It's a little long, does it seem slow? What else should we add to the mix? Harmony Vox? Key change? Lyric parsing? Come on guys, this is an easy one 🙂
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
30/07/2022 7:15 pm
I think you did a great job. This kind of "melodic metal" approach gives it a grittiness that eliminates any odor of fermented dairy products emanating from the title. Not that there really was one, despite the pronouncements of the great upholstered one at a different venue to which you refer.
My only criticism is that it's pretty much the same all the way through. There's not really a well-defined chorus to add variety. On the other hand, it's already quite long. You could make it faster, but it feels like it's about the right speed to me.
The closest you get to a chorus is these lines (and their equivalent later)
You met your match with a Harley an' tattoos
He revved you up and made you say I do
You could maybe try adding some kind of backing vocals or harmony on those lines to make them stand apart a bit more.
I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com
30/07/2022 8:49 pm
the great upholstered one
LOLOLOLMFAO!! 🙂
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
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