Yep… the pretty ones are always fickle! There's always "two in the bush"... 

How do you hear this? "Oh, woe is me"... or... "Get over yourself". The mood of the music could make or break this one  🙂

@japov

I hear it as "Get Over Yourself"  

Posted by: @royalestel

@japov

I hear it as "Get Over Yourself"  

Definitely the better choice. Nobody likes to listen to a "woe is me" song. 🙂

For me, the chorus is the best part of this lyric. The verses come across as a little bit whiny. He's going on about what a great guy he has been. I think we might find him more interesting if he told us what he was going to do now that she's gone. Some fun he's going to have without her, that shows how much he's over her. That would make us believe what he's saying a bit more.

I'm not sure about the first line. Can a dawn set?

I think you might have something here if you can build on that chorus. "I'm no one's second best" is a pretty decent hook. It should probably be the title.

Nice to meet you, Royalestel.

I really appreciate that comment.  It does sound a little self-aggrandizing as is.  And thank you for the welcome! 

You mind if I play with this a little bit...… 🙂

As the day's dawn sets
All you'll have is regret...
Then you'll walk to the west
Discover that you'd met
The one who healed your heart...
I can't begin to start
showing all that you'll miss
when you gave that goodbye kiss.

PICTURE PERFECT, YOU OWN THE SUNSET 
ANOTHER DAY AND NO REGRETS 
BROKEN HEARTS AND BEST OF WISHES 
TOSSING GOODBYE KISSES LIKE CANDY

I'm patient as they come, true.
Suffering all the day long
You can plead 'til you're blue--
Come sunset and I'm gone.
I gave you all that I could.
Walked the mile when I should have
Let you stand on your own.
This...is the chance you've blown.

YOU ARE DESIRE, SO ENCHANTED 
MUST BE NICE TO TAKE FOR GRANTED 
EVERY HEART BENEATH YOU TRYING 
AS YOU SMILE AND KEEP DEFYING GRAVITY
 
Well, I'm no one's second best.
I'm not your backup plan.
You want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;
I'm never gonna be your man.
I'm not the one, Hun,
So go have your fun.
Go have your fun.

ENJOY YOURSELF WHILE YOU CAN 
SELL YOURSELF IF THAT'S YOUR PLAN 
BUT DON'T EXPECT YOUR FANS TO COME AROUND
THAT RAINBOW HAS NO GOLD AT ALL 
YOUR SECOND BEST WON'T BREAK YOUR FALL
WHEN YOUR FEET FINALLY TOUCH THE GROUND 

I could not help falling--
(God knows and all my friends)
I ran hard from that calling.
I was weak, but now that ends.
Can't have my heart or me.
"Us" ain't your destiny.
There's not much more to say...
You've turned and walked away.

I'm no one's second best.
I'm not your backup plan.
If you want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;
I'm never gonna be your man.
I'm not the one, Hun,
So go have your fun.
Go have your fun.

You pick any guy over me
Shown that consistently
Cry when I turn to leave...
Don't give your heart to me.
It's pulling teeth to get your time
Laugh at all their jokes but never mine
Love to be ignored by them
And we can't talk at all, my friend.

I'm no one's second best.
I'm not your backup plan.
If you want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;
I'm never gonna be your man.
I'm not the one, Hun,
So go have your fun.
Go have your fun.
Go have your fun.
Go have your fun!

Dude!  I like your take!  I think this might be one of the weakest songs I've written.  It really is kind of whiny or criticizing no matter how you look at it.  I think I'm going to let this one lie.  Feel free to do with as you choose.

Come on Royal, they're just words... Tell me, what's the overall moral of this story... what sort of twist can we put on it? 🙂

Ha!  Ok, OK, I'll bite... um.  I don't know I just always had it in my mind, he was the lone cowboy walking off into the sun as she runs off to play and cry and beg later on, but he's done. It's kind of like this is his last offer to her to change her mind.  Eh...that's kind of conceited, but sure, he knows what he's worth, loves her and wants her, but he's not going to be a doormat, and she kissed him goodbye, but he's kind of looking back confidently over his shoulder asking, "You sure, babe?"

PICTURE PERFECT, YOU OWN THE SUNSET
ANOTHER DAY AND NO REGRETS
BROKEN HEARTS AND BEST OF WISHES
TOSSING GOODBYE KISSES LIKE CANDY

YOU ARE DESIRE, SO ENCHANTED
MUST BE NICE TO TAKE FOR GRANTED
EVERY HEART BENEATH YOU TRYING
AS YOU SMILE AND KEEP DEFYING GRAVITY

ENJOY YOURSELF WHILE YOU CAN
SELL YOURSELF IF THAT'S YOUR PLAN
BUT DON'T EXPECT YOUR FANS TO COME AROUND
THAT RAINBOW HAS NO GOLD AT ALL
YOUR SECOND BEST WON'T BREAK YOUR FALL
WHEN YOUR FEET FINALLY TOUCH THE GROUND

CHECK YOUR PURSE, FOR BETTER OR WORSE
IT'S A BITTER PILL TO KNOW YOUR WORTH
CONCEIT IS KEEPING YOUR HEART PURE
YOU THINK I'LL BE BACK, WELL DON'T BE SO SURE...

(How long would it take to execute this Song? You have four eight-Line Verses, and four givings of the eight-Line Chorus. Can you sustain listener interest that long? What happens in those successive Verses that keeps the storyline unfolding? 

"Fun"
(Verse I) (The first five Lines are one long sentence. It becomes kind of tangled.  Melody might be its salvation, but...
In VI the Singer-Character does exposition of his 'story', what his 'complaint' is. The Singer-Character "I" introduces by way of addressing himself directly to the Love-Interest Character "All YOU'LL have..." So the listener 'gets' that this is a conversation (one side of it). What a listener does with that may run a continuum of responses. Some will feel they are eavesdropping, getting some gossip, being confided in. We might assume the persona of one of the characters, feeling their emotional involvement, either through personal identification with the situation or simply indulging in the emotions as fiction.
Now, the question is: Where does the story go from here? Hopefully, it unfolds. There's more to the story. Hopefully, it doesn't repeat what has been 'exposed' so far, even in other words. Let's see.)
(Introductory Movement: 10-14 seconds. Or less.)

As the day's dawn sets
All you'll have is regret...
Then you'll walk to the west (Could this Line work without 'Then'?)
Discover that you'd met

The one who healed your heart...
I can't begin to start
showing all that you'll miss
when you gave that goodbye kiss.
(I note that VI is mostly concepts, actual visual ideas vague, 'day's dawn sets', 'walk to the west', 'goodbye kiss'.)

(First giving of the Chorus) (The function of a Chorus is to deliver the punch line, to sum up what has been said so far, and make the point, the gist of the Singer-Character's Point-Of-View. He rejects being treated as nothing special, and declares it, and tells Her to go, implying that she's just treating him and everyone else as 'fun'.)
I'm no one's second best.
I ain't your backup plan.
If you want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;

I'm never gonna be your man.

I'm not the one, Hun,
So go have your Fun.

Go have your Fun.

(Verse II) (Now let's see if the story unfolds in a continuing interesting way.

I'm patient as they come, true.
Suffering all the day long
You can plead 'til you're blue--
Come sunset and I'm gone. (Flipping these two four-Line segments would put the finality of this Line at the end of the Verse, leading logically back to the Chorus.)

I gave you all that I could.
Walked the mile when I should have
Let you stand on your own.
This...is the chance you've blown.
(Verse II hasn't given much more. It's more concepts. The 'sunset and I'm gone' is the only visual, the only 'action'. That's not much. Again, Melody might lift the effect on the listener more than the words on the written page. The gist of it is that it is over, too late to fix, and he's done. Is that interesting enough Lyrically, and will Melody make it so?)

(Second giving: Chorus)
Well, I'm no one's second best.
I'm not your backup plan.
You want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;

I'm never gonna be your man.

I'm not the one, Hun,

So go have your Fun.

Go have your Fun.

(How much time has it taken at this point, Verse/Chorus, Verse/Chorus, to tell this much of the storyline?)
(Verse III) (Verse III should possibly function as Act III of the play. The Lines are more conceptual thoughts, as opposed to visuals, concrete images. All the 'finality' expressed in two Verses and two givings of the Chorus is simply reiterated in Verse III. It may be time to consider which Lines are best to say what the Singer-Character wants to say, and delete others that have already been 'said/sung' saying the same general things.)

I could not help falling--
(God knows and all my friends)
I ran hard from that calling.
I was weak, but now that ends.

Can't have my heart or me.
"Us" ain't your destiny.
There's not much more to say...
You've turned and walked away.

(Third giving: Chorus)
I'm no one's second best.
I'm not your backup plan.
If you want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;

I'm never gonna be your man.

I'm not the one, Hun,

So go have your Fun.

Go have your Fun.

(Now how much time has passed? Can a Song sustain listener interest this long? Would terrestrial radio play a Song this long. They like short Songs that leave more time to play commercial ads that pay the bills. The music is just there to keep you listening until they can play the ads.
(Verse IV) (Time, again, how long can you keep them interested.)

You pick any guy over me
Shown that consistently 
Cry when I turn to leave...
Don't give your heart to me.

It's pulling teeth to get your time
Laugh at all their jokes but never mine
Love to be ignored by them
And we can't talk at all, my friend.
(In Verse IV it sounds like She gave Him clearly overt signals that she wasn't interested in Him. His interest in Her then seems excessive. What is it about Her that makes him feel strongly enough to write a Song about?)

***(Fourth: Chorus) (Time?)
I'm no one's second best.
I'm not your backup plan.
If you want to play with the rest
Don't come crying back again;

I'm never gonna be your man.

I'm not the one, Hun,
So go have your Fun.

Go have your Fun.
(Coda) (Final Musical Movement, adding time.)
Go have your Fun.

Go have your Fun!

(I began to wonder early on if the 'Fun' concept could rewrite this Lyric with a positive POV, wherein the Singer-Character is infatuated with the Love-Interest Character, who ISN'T giving Him all those rejection signals, ISN'T showing more interest in other men, and things are working out. Sad Songs can be interesting. Happy Songs can too. 
I just sang through it at about an exact three minutes, so maybe it COULD work, time-wise. Can it sustain Hook Factor, hooking listener interest ans sustaining it. Only the arrangement and Melody could tell.)

Really like this line:

CONCEIT IS KEEPING YOUR HEART PURE
YOU THINK I'LL BE BACK, WELL DON'T BE SO SURE...

That is really on theme...got me thinking of a rewrite.

@gary-e-andrews

I really appreciate your thoughts on this, man. I have so far simply written for myself and just yesterday began my education into what makes a good song.  I think this is one of my weakest poems so far, so I am definitely up for rewriting it almost from scratch.  Thinking....

Work your "theme" into the chorus...

They can always be re-written 🙂