I like this. It needs some tweaking on grammer and smoothing out some lines so it flows better. I think you are onto a good song. Keep polishing it.

Thank you @ckiphen! 🙂

(;U GO GURL;) Enjoyed Da Read

Thank you @yrralmallik! 🙂

It's a good idea for a song, Bogi. If I were you, I'd lose the Jane character. I don't think she adds anything to the song.

I always like to ask myself what I am trying to do with a lyric, specifically, what do I want to make the listener feel. It seems to me that this is all about tugging at the heartstrings. How about replacing Jane with a dog? Dogs add bucket loads of emotion. And don't worry about the folks that don't like dogs - they have no heart with strings for you to pull 🙂 

I think Jane is actually "daddy's" new girlfriend Gav...

Thank you @gavin! By the way @japov, Jane was more like a babysitter I guess ? thanks for the comments though! I've made some changes.

Let Mommy Go

(Verse1)
It was summer or spring
I don't remember everything
All I remember is I had to wear black
So I asked Daddy "where is Mommy at?"
He said her car has been crashed
And his eyes got wet

(Chorus)
He knelt down and said "Mommy's in a nice place now"
His face reaction has changed somehow
I told him: "But I didn't want her to go"
"I didn't want her to go either" He said so

(Verse2)
After the black dressed day
I got a new puppy, her hair was gray
We played a lot and she made me laugh
But ever since Mommy went to that
Nice place Daddy was always sad
He didn't even hug me before I went to bed

(Chorus)
So I held my puppy and said "everything's gonna be fine"
I told her "Daddy just needs some time...
...I know he didn't want to let Mommy go
Oh no, I know he didn't want to..."

(Verse3)
One night I had a bad dream
And I ran to Daddy while I screamed
I cried for Mommy but he said she's not here
I wanted to go to that nice place, I wanted to be there
Cause she always calmed me down after a nightmare
But then Daddy picked me up and stroked my hair

(Chorus)
I cried "I want my Mommy back!"
"She's always be there for you" Daddy whispered
"She never really left us though
So we don't need to let her go"

(Outro)
Daddy kept calming me down
"I know it's unusual now...
But don't cry....
Cause Mommy's still here.... In our hearts... "

@japov

That makes sense, Tony. That could be a good angle.

honestly I'm not sure with that line "I got a new puppy, her hair was gray"

A little kid saying "reaction"  throws me a bit.  How about "The lines on his face changed somehow"  because to little kids they notice the lines on all adults and call them old. 

Could give the puppy a name
 instead of hair that was gray?

"I got a new puppy; her name was May"

@royalestel yeah, I've been thinking about that line too and thanks for the suggestions! 🙂

Posted by: @gavin

@japov

That makes sense, Tony. That could be a good angle.

"Lose the Jane character..." Good grief Gavin, hasn't Daddy been through enough?

@japov

He can play with the dog.

Hi Bogi. I'm having a hard time trying to help you with this one. It's so far from the kind of thing I would write. I did make a few suggestions for the first verse and chorus. Maybe someone else can help some more?

Let Mommy Go

(Verse1)
It was summer or spring
I don't remember everything
But I remember I had to wear black
So I asked Daddy "where is Mommy at?"
He said, "There's been an accident,"
And his eyes got wet

(Chorus)
He knelt down and said "Mommy's in a nice place now"
His face - it looked different somehow
I told him: "But I didn't want her to go"
He took my hand and said, "I know."