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Topic starter
12/06/2019 8:23 am
Verse
Forged in the fire of war.
Emerged a man of steel.
Hardened by his hatred.
He no longer feels.
Pre Chorus
He's closed the curtains to the world.
Won't let the light shine in.
He lives alone with shadows.
Talks aloud to dead men.
Chorus
He comrades won't desert him.
They're with him all the time.
A marine keeps his word.
No man is Left behind.
Verse
Silence is his fortress.
There he dwells alone.
Anger is his solace.
Though it rarely shows.
He's closed the curtains to the world.
Won't let the light shine in.
He lives alone with the shadows.
Talks aloud to dead men.
Chorus
His comrades won't desert him.
They're with him all the time.
A marine keeps his word.
No man is Left behind.
Bridge
It's there he shares his laughter.
It's there he shares his tears.
Only he knows that his strength
Is rooted in his fear.
carroll kiphen
YrralMallik liked
12/06/2019 6:37 pm
I love the central idea, Carroll. Applying the marine's famous motto of never leaving anyone behind to the memories of his dead comrades, who never leave him. That's really clever. How about changing the word "guys" to comrades:" "His comrades won't desert him." "Guys" is kind of weak, it seems to me.
I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com
Topic starter
12/06/2019 7:44 pm
Yep that'll work better. Wrote it quick didn't give it much thought. Be glad when this seasonal job is over.
carroll kiphen
Topic starter
30/06/2020 11:39 am
Thanks. You scrolling back on them?
carroll kiphen
YrralMallik liked
Topic starter
01/07/2020 1:14 pm
- That might take a while
carroll kiphen
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