Hey dude, thanks for commenting! I’m gonna go ahead and agree you’re not the market for a song like that... I do want to add, though, Eminem was the artist of the decade last decade, so I’m gonna very confidently disagree with the notion that f-bombs are A) a sign of lazy writing, or B) not suitable for the mainstream. Now this song’s about insanity, and I wrote it to be analyzed, not for a mom driving her kids to school to jam to. I do try to add layers to most every lyric I write, one small example is the play on words in “roar, shacking”, which is a reference to Rorschach, the creator of the ink blot test. I understand if it’s not your thing, and I respect that. Profanity can certainly be abrasive to the ears of generations prior to mine, but it conveys strong emotion unlike any alternative, and I don’t use it purposelessly, but rather to do just that. I’m certain contemporary society is more than open to music that includes profane lyrics, and I’d bet a fair bit that isn’t going to change in posterity. But I do understand where you’re coming from. Hope you’re having a great weekend, and thanks again for sharing. Cheers

Yeah Rhys! This is the stuff. By far my favorite of your songs so far. I would take some time to work on this one. I like all the weird production things you have going on, but you'll agree they're pretty rough-edged at the moment.

I like the way you have slowed down a little (believe it or not, OD ?). I found the words a little easier to understand. You should make sure they are all understood, because this is a great lyric.

I don't think there is any need to hurry so much from the first of these two lines into the second:

And only fight back if my ears should ring

So I’d say

Hey Gavin, thanks! It’s definitely my favourite so far too. I’m going to keep working on it, but I’m glad to hear the lyrics are easier to understand. I’m slowing down my singing, just doing it slowly! 😛 And I agree with the rushed line thing. In all honesty I spliced two takes of the lyrics there because I messed both up in different spots. I’ll make sure I fix that next time I record it. Thanks and cheers! Glad ya liked it 

Whoa! Didn't see that comin'

Whoa! That was very intense. Best performance from you by far, Rhys. Nice.-

A couple suggestions. You mentioned eminem. One thing he's so good at is getting out an insane number of words that are articulated so that you hear every one of them. He's one of the most articulate rappers out there. He does that by finding the rhythm of the words he's stringing together. You'll hear him put breaks between some words and slide other words together as thought they're connected. When you say "let sad-soft-slaps-slip-slide not phase me" that line (which is awesome btw) gets lost in a sea of esses, yet, on paper, it's a great line. Can I suggest you take a lesson from eminem. Sing, "sad-soft slaps slip-slide not phase me" or "sad soft-slaps slip-slide not phase me" (the hyphens indicate where you'd slide the words together and the other words stand alone, albeit briefly)

"It’s like...{silence} never mind you’re blind" Love your delivery of that line. Kudos  : )

Thanks Jenny! I hear what you’re saying on the s-words line. I didn’t really consider how it’d be hard to understand the words with such a repetitive sound. I’ll do it that way you’re suggesting next time, thanks for pointing that out! Glad ya liked it, cheers!