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24/03/2019 2:45 pm
Experimenting but needs a hook to keep it tied together.
A girl
I once knew a girl with eyes
As blue as summer skies.
She was the heart and soul of
The life I left behind.
A life with friends and family.
A future I could see.
A dead end job, a mundane life.
A thought that frightened me.
I set myself adrift.
Floated on the wind.
I moved to New York City.
Explored the unknown worlds
I walked among the shadows.
Met mysterious girls.
I felt something pulling me.
Drawing me to the edge.
Fear was my new addiction.
I lived to feel the rush.
The deeper I ventured in
The more my soul was crushed.
Found myself in a void.
Devoid of happiness.
Longed for the life I knew.
The one my heart was with.
Felt the beating of her heart.
Calling me to come home.
I long for the girl with eyes
As blue as summer skies.
She was the heart and soul of
The life I left behind.
A life with friends and family.
A future I could see.
A stable job a peaceful life.
A life the suited me.
carroll kiphen
YrralMallik liked
24/03/2019 3:21 pm
The verse about a fear addiction being a rush doesn't make sense to me. The song is long enough that you could probably scrap that verse as the next one clearly shows the result.
Eyes and blue skies have been compared a lot. If it were me, I would adjust those lines. But that's just me.
24/03/2019 5:45 pm
Hi Carroll. I agree with Derek. I think the verse about addiction doesn't fit seamlessly. The song flows better without it.
I like how you communicate the idea that the same set of circumstances can be viewed differently. Dead end job becomes stable job; mundane life becomes peaceful life. Nicely conveyed.
https://soundcloud.com/jennystokes-nz
http://evansandstokes.com
https://www.facebook.com/evansandstokes/
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