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10/09/2021 12:21 pm
Here is one of my songs.
Rough demo: My voice + ukulele
ONE ROCKING NIGHT WITH YOU
____________________________________________
© Words and music: Guy E. Trépanier, 2021.
All rights reserved by Guy E. Trépanier.
Intro: 4 bars (key of D)
Baby, I need just one little night
To hold you tight in my arms
Please, give me one,
One rocking night with you
Baby, I hope you gonna feel right
With pure delight in my arms
Give me just one,
One rocking night with you Uh-uh-uh!
I'm up for a bliss
When I feel your sweet little lips
You make me fulfill
Such a thrill Uh-uh-uh!
I want just one little night
To hold you tight in my arms
One rocking night,
One rocking night with you Uh-uh-uh!
Interlude: 8 bars
Baby, I long for one little dance
To feel the heat in your arms
Please, give me one,
One rocking night with you
Baby, Maybe I'll win a romance
Sharing a beat in your arms
Give me just one,
One rocking night with you Uh-uh-uh!
I'm up for a bliss
When I feel your sweet little lips
You make me fulfill
Such a thrill Uh-uh-uh!
I want just one little night
To hold you tight in my arms
One rocking night,
One rocking night with you Uh-uh-uh!
One rocking night, one rocking night
One rocking night with you Uh-uh-uh!
Guy E. Trépanier #511
Melody: Nov - Dec 2020. Lyrics: Nov - Dec 2020.
K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Singable
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=588312
https://soundcloud.com/guyetrep : in English (my voice + ukulele)
https://soundcloud.com/guyechante : en Français (in french)
https://soundcloud.com/user-380042223 : songs with lyricists
https://www.reverbnation.com/control_room/artist/1969477/songs
23/09/2021 8:58 am
A nice song, Guy. The verse is really catchy. I found myself humming along. I'm not so sure about the chorus. It seems to have a less well-defined melody. Also the words. "You make me fulfill such a thrill" don't work well for me. People don't fulfill a thrill - they feel it. You could try....
I'm up for a bliss
When I feel your sweet little lips
You make me feel
Such a thrill Uh-uh-uh!
It's an almost rhyme. Or here's something that came to me....
I'm up for a bliss
When I feel your sweet little lips
Oh the shiver
They deliver Uh-uh-uh!
You could even make the "Uh-uh-uh" into an excited shivering sound.
Another line that sounded a little awkward to me is this one..."Baby, Maybe I'll win a romance." I get what you mean, but it's an unusual expression. How about "Baby, Maybe I gotta chance of romance." It fits quite nicely with a slightly different phrasing.
Just some thoughts that occurred to me as I listened. I like it as it is, especially those catchy verses.
I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com
Guy E. Trepanier liked
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