Welcome, Brendan. Great song, sensual lyric, very atmospheric and nice performance. It seems to me to have a nice retro sixties vibe somehow. I think it's the chord progressions.

There's not much contrast between the verse and chorus melodically. Normally, this might be a problem, but it seems to work here. I love the bursts of spare, haunting guitar.

Thirty seconds is long for an intro these days, although it was fine for me.

Thanks for the feedback! I must be showing my age with the retro sound. 🙂

That song actually started out as an exercise for arpeggios in Em up and down the fretboard and as I was playing it one evening, my wife said I should turn that into a song. Lyrically it was incredibly challenging because I wanted to avoid being cheesy. 

LOVE SONG
Brendan Delumpa

Shadows grow long
As the night closes in
But I feel the warmth (I always recommend seeing if you can delete 'But'.)
Of your glistening skin
That shimmers in the twilight (Delete 'the'?)
I don't know where to begin...

To show you how deep
Is my longing for you
An ocean can’t fill the depths
You’ve brought me to
Adrift within your lovelight
And my wonder in you

Did the planets align (Title? "Did The Planets Align?")
And they brought you to me, ('And' is another word to see if you can do without.)
Or did forces combine
Into our destiny?
It feels like it’s magic that
Somehow you’re here with me (Title? "You're Here With Me". This should be the end of the Chorus, brief. The additional Lines repeat the 'planets align' concept with 'fate'. The Yoda-speak 'beside me you lay' works as you sing it, but is contorted, not the way most English-speakers would say it.
The Lines seem to be doing more exposition, the job of a Verse, instead of the summation of a Chorus.
As Gavin notes, the Chorus Melody lacks contrast from the Verse. Some of that is avoided by a shortened Chorus. Another option is to flip the Lines below, opening the Chorus with them, thus ending with "You're Here With Me" in the strategic Last-Line position.)
Or maybe it’s fate
That beside me you lay
As I hold you close
As the light fades away
Tangled with you
At the end of the day…

Our room fades to black
As the sun disappears
But I feel the beat of your heart, ('But'?)
You’re so near 
In tempo with my own heart
And I see it so clear… ('And'?)

That our love is weaved
Like a trellis of vines
That encircle each other
To form a new life
Stronger together
And forever entwined

REPEAT CHORUS

Maybe it’s fate
That beside me you lay
As I hold you close
As the light fades away
Tangled with you
At the end of the day…

Did planets align?
They brought you to me.
Or did forces combine
Into our destiny?
It feels like it’s magic that
Somehow You’re Here With Me. (The 'somehow' seems to sum up the idea of 'planets align' and 'fate' and your wonderment.)

Well done Brendan, very visual lyric, and definitely has a sixties feel, (I too am showing my age).  Thank you for sharing, good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon

I'm getting a heavy "Moody Blues" vibe here... That’s a good thing! Welcome to the Junction ? 

Thanks for the great, constructive feedback!