I love the story, but especially the conversational tone. It feels like you're sitting across the table with a beer and just talking. Do you have a melody? The way you laid it out suggests that you have.

Yes, A7, D7, E7, and Lyric and Melody, a talkin' tale told! The Singer-Character is talking to the Love-Interest Character the whole time, telling her how he saw her standing at the jukebox, how everybody warned him about her, the name they all call her, how he kept watchin', etc. I've been hung up on a woman like that, can't quit thinking about her, having those 'you' conversations all by myself, practicing for if I ever get the chance to tell her how I feel, how I felt. The conversational style may be very effective in pulling listeners into the story, hooking them to pay attention, and want to know where the story goes, wondering how it will end. This one ends with him still longing, the Puerto Rican guitar player now enjoying her cadillac, and the warning repeating in his head. I've enjoyed the hell out of playing and singing it.

Yes, I can imagine this would be very enjoyable to sing.

Hello Gary. Any plans to record this?

Jen

YES!! Oh. Sorry, Jen, for shouting. A feller with a hella rig heard it one time and said, "I want to record you!" There's a delay, probably, because he's moving. But, I am confident that very soon I will be able to cyber-send this one where no man has gone before! No. Wait. That's "Star Trek" that goes where no man has gone before, and, funny thing, always finds people there. But yes. I WILL record it soon. 

That's great news. Congratulations Gary.   ?

Ha! One of those bar room brainstorms, love it! 

It will be a good song, Gary!