Hey Carroll,
this one is great. Can I give it a try? I've got something jazzy in mind.

All the best
Robert

Of course. 

Hey Carroll,
you don't write many songs with such a positive vibe. I just had to give it a try. Here's my first draft (without mix):
https://soundclick.com/r/s8fs27

Any comments/suggestions?

All the best
Robert

Catchy melody. Really like the music.

I like the jazzy feel. That bit where you stop after the word "stop" is really neat.

My only suggestion concerns the chorus. I'm all for repetition and hitting the hook, but just repeating the same four lines becomes a little boring. How about changing it up the second time, something like this...

I wanna, do you wanna?

Can we really do this?

If we start it can we stop?

Once we start to kiss?

I just thoughta, do we oughta?

Jump... into this this?

'Cause if we start it can we stop?

Once we start to kiss?

I hear a pause after "jump" to add a little variety, but you could insert a word like "right" if that was more comfortable. Just my thoughts. 🙂

Robert, I know you love your piano program but this one just feels too "ballroom" to me...  Perhaps a funky bass riff and some "lite" piano would really suit this lyric? Think "pop-jazz" 🙂 

Hi Gavin,
I like what you suggested. Unfortunately I finished working on this one and moved on to new projects. I noted your line alternatives. If we find someone who wants to sing this one I'll forward your suggestions to the artist and let him or her decide. Thanks a lot, I appreciate it.

All the best
Robert

Hey Tony,
I hear it too. To be honest with you, I always wanted to write a song like one of my all-time favorites Genevieve from Andrew Gold: 

This guy was really awesome. Well, with this song I gave it a try and in the end I noticed I didn't even come close. I really wish I could add an e-guitar. 

All the best
Robert

I'm partial to guitar songs.