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Topic starter
16/04/2020 10:36 am
Working on a song with Rob and we need some feedback and suggestions.
The Ring
Verse
I’ve been lying awake all night.
Wondering what tomorrow will bring.
Hope I get what I’m wishing for
Hope you’ve already bought the ring.
Pre chorus
I’ve been waiting, anticipating
Praying this day would come.
Practicing saying what I’ll be saying
For me you are the only one.
Chorus
I feel like a kid at Christmas.
I can hear the angels sing.
I’m wondering, wondering, wondering
Will I, will I get the ring.
Verse
I’ve been dreaming of this moment
Wondering what you will say.
Hope I get what I’m wishing for.
The best ever Christmas day.
Pre chorus
I’ve been waiting, anticipating
Praying this day would come.
Practicing saying what I’ll be saying
For me you are the only one.
Chorus
I feel like a kid at Christmas.
I can hear the angels sing.
I’m wondering, wondering, wondering
Will I, will I get the ring.
Bridge
I’m standing here at the station.
I’m waiting on the final train.
I’m counting down the minutes.
I hope you’re doing the same.
or
Bridge
It isn’t about the diamond
It is what it’s a symbol of.
It’s the promise of forever.
That I will always have your love.
carroll kiphen
YrralMallik liked
16/04/2020 2:49 pm
It's a sleepless Christmas Eve
But Santa cannot bring
What you know I've been wishing for
I hope you have a ring
Pre chorus
I’ve been waiting, anticipating
Praying this day would come
You'll be ready, no hesitating
And make me your only one
Chorus
Oh, I'm just a girl at Christmas
Hoping that my love will bring
I’m wondering, hoping, waiting
Will I, will I get a ring...
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
Topic starter
16/04/2020 2:51 pm
Very good suggestions. I'll see what Rob thinks.
carroll kiphen
16/04/2020 5:43 pm
I’ve been lying awake all night,
but still dream what tomorrow will bring.
Hope that I get what I wish for;
Hope that you bought me a ring.
Pre chorus
I’ve been waiting, anticipating
Praying that this day would come.
Practicing what I’ll be saying
To me, you're the o-only one (stretching out only in the singing to emphasize it)
16/04/2020 7:54 pm
I had "Betty Boop" in mind... lol 🙂
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
17/04/2020 8:09 am
Hey Gavin,
what do you mean by "You don't hear songs like this much any more."?
All the best
Robert
17/04/2020 9:31 am
I mean that the theme is old-fashioned - the idea of a girl waiting excitedly for a possible marriage proposal. It feels like something from the 1950s. Rightly or wrongly, such themes would probably be treated ironically these days. This might present a challenge. I don't think girls talk this way any more, so the singer would have a hard time coming across as natural.
I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com
Topic starter
17/04/2020 9:44 am
Let's hear what you girls think. Cuz as guys how we think you feel is not always how you feel.
carroll kiphen
17/04/2020 11:54 am
**Modern rap break**
I want a big phat ring
as big as my face
With so much bling
you can see it from space
I want Karats as heavy
as a Sherman tank
Show me that luv baby
rob me a bank! 🙂
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
Songwriter Junction liked
Topic starter
17/04/2020 12:30 pm
Uh no.
carroll kiphen
17/04/2020 4:53 pm
Tony, if Rob can work that in to his arrangement, I will bow before him in profound admiration.
I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com
17/04/2020 7:16 pm
I'll bet Robert Jr can handle it! 🙂
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856
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