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ckiphen
(@ckiphen)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1478
Topic starter  

Working on a song with Rob and we need some feedback and suggestions.

The Ring

Verse

I’ve been lying awake all night.

Wondering what tomorrow will bring.

Hope I get what I’m wishing for

Hope you’ve already bought the ring.

Pre chorus

I’ve been waiting, anticipating

Praying this day would come.

Practicing saying what I’ll be saying

For me you are the only one.

Chorus

I feel like a kid at Christmas.

I can hear the angels sing.

I’m wondering, wondering, wondering

Will I, will I get the ring.

Verse

I’ve been dreaming of this moment

Wondering what you will say.

Hope I get what I’m wishing for.

The best ever Christmas day.

Pre chorus

I’ve been waiting, anticipating

Praying this day would come.

Practicing saying what I’ll be saying

For me you are the only one.

Chorus

I feel like a kid at Christmas.

I can hear the angels sing.

I’m wondering, wondering, wondering

Will I, will I get the ring.

Bridge

I’m standing here at the station.

I’m waiting on the final train.

I’m counting down the minutes.

I hope you’re doing the same.

or

Bridge

It isn’t about the diamond

It is what it’s a symbol of.

It’s the promise of forever.

That I will always have your love.

 

 

carroll kiphen


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JAPOV
(@japov)
Noble Member
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1148
 

It's a sleepless Christmas Eve 
But Santa cannot bring
What you know I've been wishing for
I hope you have a ring
Pre chorus
I’ve been waiting, anticipating
Praying this day would come
You'll be ready, no hesitating 
And make me your only one
Chorus
Oh, I'm just a girl at Christmas
Hoping that my love will bring
I’m wondering, hoping, waiting 
Will I, will I get a ring... 

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856


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ckiphen
(@ckiphen)
Noble Member
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1478
Topic starter  

Very good suggestions. I'll see what Rob thinks.

 

carroll kiphen


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royalestel
(@royalestel)
Active Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 18
 

 

I’ve been lying awake all night,

but still dream what tomorrow will bring.

Hope that I get what I wish for;

Hope that you bought me a ring.

Pre chorus

I’ve been waiting, anticipating

Praying that this day would come.

Practicing what I’ll be saying

To me, you're the o-only one (stretching out only in the singing to emphasize it)


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Gavin
(@gavin)
Noble Member
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1007
 

it's going to take a special kind of singer to put this song across LOL. You don't hear songs like this much any more. I'm looking forward to hearing what Rob does with it.

Some good suggestions from Tony and Royal.

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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JAPOV
(@japov)
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Posts: 1148
 

I had "Betty Boop" in mind... lol  🙂

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856


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Robbi
(@robbi)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 80
 

Hey Gavin,
what do you mean by "You don't hear songs like this much any more."?

All the best
Robert

 


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Gavin
(@gavin)
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Posts: 1007
 

@robbi

I mean that the theme is old-fashioned - the idea of a girl waiting excitedly for a possible marriage proposal. It feels like something from the 1950s. Rightly or wrongly, such themes would probably be treated ironically these days. This might present a challenge. I don't think girls talk this way any more, so the singer would have a hard time coming across as natural.

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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ckiphen
(@ckiphen)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1478
Topic starter  

Let's hear what you girls think. Cuz as guys how we think you feel is not always how you feel.

carroll kiphen


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JAPOV
(@japov)
Noble Member
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1148
 

**Modern rap break**

I want a big phat ring
as big as my face
With so much bling
you can see it from space
I want Karats as heavy
as a Sherman tank
Show me that luv baby
rob me a bank!   🙂

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856


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ckiphen
(@ckiphen)
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Posts: 1478
Topic starter  

Uh no.

carroll kiphen


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Gavin
(@gavin)
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Posts: 1007
 

@japov

Tony, if Rob can work that in to his arrangement, I will bow before him in profound admiration.

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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JAPOV
(@japov)
Noble Member
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1148
 

I'll bet Robert Jr can handle it!  🙂

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856


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