Unsurprisingly this is shamelessly juvenile, but 'it's what it is 

Butt Baby

I asked your mom

Where babies come from

And she just said

from love

But your old man

chimed in all like

wait hold up

She's full of shit

And that's all wrong

So listen up

Some babies come from sloppy pulling out

Some babies come from blowjobs gone too long

Some come from one drink going south

And some some some are like my son

And you know he's a butt baby

And I don't mean maybe

Might've swam a long way

To make somebody so lazy

But he's still a butt baby

He was born a butt baby

And he'll die a butt baby

Cuz he's just a butt baby

With a runny boss and glasses on

He Mary Poppins'ed from his mother's bum

At least I think that's how it went

But it's a little bit hazy

With the drugs that I was on

And with the one eye kinda lazy

And he's not a bit alright

And he's never not not not wrong

His prom date was a pipe

And now he's married to a bong

Now his leaving late at night

And his melon smelling's why

My strongest inclination's

That he's cheating cuz he's vaping

Cuz you know he's a butt baby

And I don't mean maybe

Might've swam a long way

To make somebody so lazy

But he's still a butt baby

He was born a butt baby

And he'll die a butt baby

Cuz he's just a butt baby