This is going to be really good, Jen. I love the door metaphor. It works so well in both senses of trapping the victim inside and those who would help outside.

There is one problem in verse 2. I don’t think a mouth can stare.

That bit where you’re stuck. How about a single line: “I’m here. You’re not alone.”?

Hello Jen,

Nice write.  Verse 2 line 2, maybe ( you fear critical words from caustic mouths ) ?   Good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon,

Teeth clenched with fear 

Your secret can't escape..... 

Posted by: Gavin

This is going to be really good, Jen. I love the door metaphor. It works so well in both senses of trapping the victim inside and those who would help outside.

There is one problem in verse 2. I don’t think a mouth can stare.

That bit where you’re stuck. How about a single line: “I’m here. You’re not alone.”?

Oh duh. That's "and caustic mouths" lol. 

So you're suggesting simplicity. I like it. I think I'll play with that. Thanks Gavin.

Posted by: Deacon

Hello Jen,

Nice write.  Verse 2 line 2, maybe ( you fear critical words from caustic mouths ) ?   Good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon,

Thank you Deacon. I'm glad you like it.

That Verse 2 problem was a typo on my part. These darned fingers!  ?

Posted by: JAPOV

Teeth clenched with fear 

Your secret can't escape..... 

Oooo. Like that.

Silence and Violence? Quite a rhyme. And this is a baby lullabye? Hope they can get to sleep with this one.

Ha. Yeah, definitely not for the innocent among us. The song is actually an expression of what it's like to suffer from clinical depression. Many years ago now, I experienced depression. Truly awful experience! When you are in the middle of that, it seems like no one around you "gets it." I wanted to write a song that said, "hey, I've been there. I get it." There is "silence" in how you lock it all away, and "violence" in the degree of anguish you feel, and, even when people are trying to help you, you interpret them as trying to sabotage you. You might be surrounded by love, but everyone is your enemy because they can't meet you in the dark places of your mind. A truly weird experience.

I am a bubbly person by nature, but I know from my experience with depression that you can't meet a person in darkness with a blinding light. You need to meet them in the dark places with heavily shaded light. From there, you bring them out. If I can't make a great living from music, at least I can make a difference in people's lives. When a fan emails you to thank you for helping him to get out of bed and get on with life after a long bout of depression, all the money in the world can't compare to that. The music he was listening to was Evans and Stokes' heaviest, dirgiest stuff, yet, there was enough light to help him out. 

Finding your target audience. Maybe that is an avenue for you. I have this woman I worked with in California who was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. What was so strange is that she was one off the most bubbly people I had ever met. Her "bad past" had happened about 20 years before I met her. She had several songs similar to this, but in several of them, she had a sense of humor with them. It was interesting how she took the subject, in that she was still serious about it, and helping others, but she had sort of a self deprecating sense of humor, kind of dark humor, about what she was doing.
We wrote some other things but I told her that I had never quite heard it done in that fashion and by definition that was what we were trying to do, find a different way to approach subject matter .And her's was different. 

Fast forward about ten years and she had created her own career out of these twelve step songs. She had done a full CD, and each song was about one of the steps. Well written but if you were not in recovery you might not get it. She had hooked up with several AA chapters in her area and word about her spread. And then, she tied in with GAY A A!!!! That's correct, they have an Alcoholics Anonymous group specifically for Homosexual groups. And she had developed this entire show, with part music, comedy and motivational speaking. And being a SPECTACULARLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, she really did well, as they all wanted to take her shopping and dress her up like a baby doll. It turned out quite humorous, as two of my other friends from out there, went along to some of their conventions. They would say, "great....Not only is there NO WOMEN, there is NO BEER!!!! But they did quite well for some time. She has now started back writing more conventional material, and makes trips to Nashville from time to time. Will be here in two weeks as a matter of fact.

So there is nothing wrong with finding an audience that is outside what most people would understand. I know there are a lot of people who share your situation, far too many are songwriters and artists. We can be a pretty depressed lot. Can't keep a relationship, can't make money, yeah, we can be quite downers sometime. 

As long as you are touching lives that is all that matters. And maybe you can find your own niche reaching people and helping them along. 
Good luck.