Ummm....... No!

(You’ve been searching for the perfect girl)... All girls believe they’re perfect! Or at least better than men in every way by virtue of gender and entitled to be served by lesser beings. It’s women who are looking for a man they can tolerate and punish. 

(You’ve been overlooking pearls)... Women/jewelry... It’s an ages old cliche that girls should really aspire to outgrow. Seriously, from a man’s perspective one is just as useless as the other.

(You’ve been looking but you’re not finding

The one who will change your world)... Every woman believes every man needs to be changed... generally, into a woman! A woman’s prerogative is to change her mind contingent upon how she feels moment by moment. Any man who agrees with this is a moron and needs to have his balls checked.

Chorus

(Oh you can want what you want)... Yep, want in one hand... shit in the other. Wonder which one fills up first...

(But boy you ain’t no prize)... It’s not a man’s job to be a prize, or a jewel, or even nice and pretty. A man’s job is to maintain status quo despite a woman’s genetic predilection for fairytales, and always hold himself accountable for a woman’s disappointment despite reason and common sense.

(The perfect girl for you is)... Already in handcuffs.

(Right there before your eyes)... That’s the problem! They all look so good from about ten feet away... Then they get closer and start talking about themselves and how they "feel" about EVERYTHING!

Verse

(Don’t have blue eyes like you imagined)... How can you possibly know these days? There are no limits to a woman’s vanity! With the right makeup and plastic surgeon even a man can be pretty...

(But she’ll make you feel alive)... If by alive you mean tired, overworked, underpaid... and then come home to a woman who’s been drinking all day to find she just spent the mortgage payment on a new outfit she can barely fit her fat ass into...

(She’ll make you laugh as if by magic)... Yea'... That wide-eyed, aggravated, exaggerated and stupid crazy laughter that comes out of nowhere just when you start thinking about what her head would look like on a stick!

(But the truth you still deny)... No Sir! It’s the TRUTH that keeps me sane, single, out of debt, and out of jail!!!

Sounds like a she done me wrong song.personally i was headed for disaster like a speeding train till i met my wife. It hasn't been perfect but we've always had each other's back.She wasn't exactly what i was looking for but she was what i needed.

Well, there I go again with both feet! Lol, I'm sorry Carroll... You write so many sickeningly sweet love songs I just figured I could get away with ranting on one! Please pardon my strange sense of humor... ? 

I'd rather write darker stuff but then no one puts it to music