Scene Of The Crime
 

Scene Of The Crime  

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Deacon
(@deacon)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 275
12/02/2020 1:08 am  

Scene Of The Crime     lyrics and music by Ron Nelson  all rights reserved

V1
No I don't claim to be innocent,
hell I'm as guilty as can be.
Excuse me judge sir, if you please,
just through the book at me.
Pc
I'll pay the bail, I'll cop a plea, I'll gladly do the time.
Just sentence me to life in her arms, back at the scene of the crime.
Chr
The scene of the crime, the scene of the crime.
Her smile, those eyes, her lips on mine, but I said goodbye.
Her smile, those eyes, her lips on mine, how I made her cry.
At the scene of the crime, at the scene of the crime.
V2
It was a case of entrapment,
right from the very start.
I preyed upon her emotions,
just to steal her heart.
Pc
I'll pay the bail, I'll cop a plea, I'll gladly do the time.
Just sentence me to life in her arms, back at the scene of the crime.
Chr
The scene of the crime, the scene of the crime.
Her smile, those eyes, her lips on mine, but I said good bye.
Her smile, those eyes, her lips on mine, how I made her cry.
At the scene of the crime, at the scene of the crime.
Br
You can put me under oath,
I swear to tell the truth.
It ought to be against the law,
to want that woman like I do.
Like I do, like I do.
You know it's true.
Pc
Chr.

Comments welcome, best wishes,

Speak soon

This topic was modified 8 months ago 5 times by Deacon

Music is an international language, say it with a song. deaconmusic4u@gmail.com


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Gary E. Andrews
(@gary-e-andrews)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 234
13/02/2020 5:10 am  

Scene Of The Crime     Copyright (date) lyrics and music by Ron Nelson  all rights reserved
(This is pretty damned clever! I like the Chorus very much! And the concept, a crime scene in a love context. That's originality of thought!)

Verse I
No I don't claim to be innocent,
hell I'm as guilty as can be. (Enunciate 'hell' more clearly, a longer note perhaps)
Excuse me judge sir, if you please, (Delete 'sir', in favor of more room to enunciate more clearly.)
just through the book at me. (Not 'through'. 'throw'.)
Pc
I'll pay the bail! I'll cop a plea! I'll gladly do the time! (Maybe let him 'own' it, 'MY bail!? 'MY time!?)
Just sentence me to life in her arms, back at the Scene Of The Crime! (Delete 'Just' in favor of clearer enunciation of the rest.)
Chr
The Scene Of The Crime! The Scene Of The Crime!
Her smile! Those eyes! Her lips, on mine! but I said goodbye! (Delete 'but')
Her smile! Those eyes! Her lips, on mine! how I made her cry! (Delete 'how')
At The Scene Of The Crime! At The Scene Of The Crime! 
(Five hits on THE Hook per giving of the Pre-Chorus/Chorus. Very strong on driving the concept home, memorable for the listener.)
Verse II
It was a case of entrapment, (The 'crime' concept, supported by the 'entrapment' concept.)
right from the very start.
I preyed upon her emotions, (Enunciate 'preyed' more than 'upon'. Maybe 'on' instead of 'upon'.)
just to steal her heart. (Study your enunciation. You want them to 'get' it the first time they hear it.)
Pc
I'll pay my bail! I'll cop a plea! I'll gladly do my time! 
Sentence me to life in her arms, back at the Scene Of The Crime!
Chr
The Scene Of The Crime! The Scene Of The Crime!
Her smile! Those eyes! Her lips on mine! I said goodbye! 

Her smile! Those eyes! Her lips on mine! I made her cry!
At The Scene Of The Crime! At The Scene Of The Crime!
Br
You can put me under oath!
I swear to tell the truth.
It ought to be against the law,
to want that woman like I do.
Like I do!
Like I do!
You know it's true!
Pc
Chr.

Despite 1,000's of years of Songwriting humans have not exhausted the possibilities. There will always be another Song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com


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JAPOV
(@japov)
Prominent Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 921
13/02/2020 2:40 pm  

I like where this is going! 😎 

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandid=1449856


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Deacon
(@deacon)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 275
13/02/2020 7:08 pm  

Hello Gary, Thank you for the critique, I appreciate the suggestions, even if I have to re-record the song, I can see where it may enhance the song.  Best wishes,

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song. deaconmusic4u@gmail.com


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Deacon
(@deacon)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 275
13/02/2020 7:11 pm  

Hello "T", great to hear from you.  Yeh, me too, I like Gary's suggestions.  Thanks for giving it a listen, Best wishes,

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song. deaconmusic4u@gmail.com


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Gary E. Andrews
(@gary-e-andrews)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 234
13/02/2020 8:30 pm  

@japov

Now THERE'S a Song title! "I Like Where This Is Going". 

Despite 1,000's of years of Songwriting humans have not exhausted the possibilities. There will always be another Song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com


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Gavin
(@gavin)
Right Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 749
16/02/2020 9:36 pm  

I'm back in 1977 LOL. Love the punk feel to this. 

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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Deacon
(@deacon)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 275
17/02/2020 2:30 pm  

Hello Init4theMusic, Ain't we all LOL.  Thank you for the listen, comments, and suggestions, all are well taken and appreciated.  Best wishes,

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song. deaconmusic4u@gmail.com


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Deacon
(@deacon)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 275
17/02/2020 2:33 pm  

Hello Gav, That was the year my daughter was born LOL, guess that really puts a date stamp on my age approximately.  Thank you for the listen and the comment, it is much appreciated.  Best wishes,

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song. deaconmusic4u@gmail.com


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