I Never Took You Of...
 

I Never Took You Off My Phone  

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Gavin
(@gavin)
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Posts: 161
16/05/2019 3:52 pm  

I think he was referring to the way I pronounce my words carefully and maybe seem a bit stilted sometimes. He was referring to "In France," which you might remember. The only thing I objected to was the implication that I'm English  

On the other hand, I should get high marks from Gary for enunciating clearly LOL.

I went back and changed the ending as you suggested and also changed the line "Living in unwedded bliss" to "Living it up in unwedded bliss," which is easier to sing in a less school-teacherly fashion.

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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Jenny Stokes
(@jenny-stokes)
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Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 228
16/05/2019 4:46 pm  

Whenever you're ready.....   🎵🎵😎🎸🎵🎶   ......my ears await

http://evansandstokes.com
https://www.facebook.com/evansandstokes/


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Gavin
(@gavin)
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Posts: 161
16/05/2019 4:55 pm  

Here you go, Jen's ears...

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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Jenny Stokes
(@jenny-stokes)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 228
16/05/2019 5:18 pm  

Yup. Much better ending, Gavin. Shorter is better.

I didn't hear the English teacher thing on the first version, but now that I hear this one, that change "living it up" is definitely an improvement. To that end, that bit "well yes, I might have had a drink or two etc" could be de-teachered too by drawing out the "yes" with more emphasis on the "ye" than the "es" then pausing slightly so you can run more naturally over "might've had a drink or two etc" (i.e., force that line fit in a shorter space). 

Lovin' this tune Gav

http://evansandstokes.com
https://www.facebook.com/evansandstokes/


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Gavin
(@gavin)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 161
17/05/2019 6:49 pm  

Thanks Jen. I'll go back and try that de-teachering thing you suggest in those lines. Though I say it myself, in spite of all the usual issues with the amateur vocals and production, the tune does have a bit of an earworm quality to it. The chorus just kind of came to me all of a sudden and I immediately wanted to sing it to myself all the time.

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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Jenny Stokes
(@jenny-stokes)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 228
17/05/2019 9:45 pm  

You're right there! It totally has an earworm quality about it.   🙂

http://evansandstokes.com
https://www.facebook.com/evansandstokes/


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