" He Cries A Rainbo...
 

" He Cries A Rainbow " bluegrass slow melody  

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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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18/07/2019 7:00 pm  

this one needs composer/singer

" He Cries A Rainbow " bluegrass slow melody

Now red was the color in his lady's eyes
when she found out he done her wrong
Blue was her heart to pack up and leave
(with a note tellin me she's gone)
the only lover she'd ever known

(chorus)
He cries a rain-bow, each time he hurt her so
and swears he won't do it again
but these colored tears he sheds, flow from a heart of lead
knowing if she stayed it wouldn't end....he cries a rainbow

***********fiddle then banjo***************

Orange was the color of his mistress's hair
the same one she found on his coat
Green was the envy he caused her to feel
by straying away from his home

(bridge)
He kept fannin the flames of those 1 night games
watching the embers rise, then going home like he'd done no wrong to fill her full of his lies

(chorus)
He  cry a rain-bow each time I hurt her so
and swears, he won't do it again
but these colored tears he sheds, flow from a heart of lead
knowing if she stayed it
wouldn't end....he cries a rainbow

He took her love for granted of what he  had
by then it was way too late
Now she won't be coming back again 
and that's the truth he's gotta face......so 
he cries a rain-bow

© " He Cries A Rainbow " 02-04-2010 by Gary D. Gray All Rights Reserved (BMI)

This topic was modified 1 month ago 3 times by AllfortheLord

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piq
 piq
(@piq)
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Posts: 22
19/07/2019 5:32 am  

tbh , i dont know who in their right mind , would wanna sing this . to me , it just comes across as some cheating / phillandering guy who wants people to feel sorry for him , when really its his wife that deserves our pity . in my opinion it needs a major rewrite , to make the singer / character more likeable


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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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19/07/2019 9:27 am  

you can't have all happy songs where everything ends up with a full cherry bowl, hasta be a balance and cheatin songs were and still are popular, but thanks for your opinion , it'll be filed in the appropriate place


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Gavin
(@gavin)
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Posts: 313
19/07/2019 11:37 am  

Piq gave an honest opinion. I think responding in the way you did might discourage others from doing the same. I also think that he makes a point worth considering, if you were wanting to pitch it. In that case, the singer is the customer, and he is likely to prefer songs that make him look good, portray him in a positive light, especially to the women who make up most of the buying public. I'm not speaking as an expert - I've never sold a song - but that is the conventional wisdom, and it seems to make sense to me.

None of this makes it a bad song. It's more of a marketing consideration than an artistic one and, of course, if you are going to sing it yourself or already have someone interested, it doesn't really apply. Having said that, personally, I don't think it's one of your strongest lyrics, firstly because the underlying idea of colored tears seems a little forced, especially in the line "but these colored tears I shed, flow from a heart of lead," and secondly because I can't sympathize with the narrator. "I feel bad that I've lost her, but not for what I've done - hell, I'd do it again." Also, he has both a mistress and a series of one night stands, so he's cheating on her too.

This is just my opinion, offered in a spirit of trying to be helpful.

I may or may not be an enigma
http://mysteriousbeings.com


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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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19/07/2019 11:53 am  

I have sold songs several under contract as we speak and he has every right to voice his opinion as I do, and cheating songs are very big in the  tradional country . Heck if we did it it his way then most of the famous legends wouldn't have hit songs about two timing cheating etc example Loretta Lynn, Moe Bandy, George Jones, Hank williams Sr etc, do ya get my drift?

 


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piq
 piq
(@piq)
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Posts: 22
19/07/2019 12:10 pm  

my comments werent meant to offend . it seems to me like allforthelord , cant take any kind of constructive criticism , and resorts to lashing out at people , and that makes it extremely hard to help him  . ask yourself this allforthelord , youre looking for a singer right ? who can you imagine singing this ? why would someone want to sing this ? whos gonna want to listen to this ? you basically have a song about a guy , who cant keep it in his pants , and then acts like hes the hurt one , when it all goes wrong . so right there , you have two elements , the cheating and self pitying , that are not gonna make the singer / character likeable . yes its true that there are lots of songs about cheating , but in most of those songs , you dont have the cheater playing the victim  


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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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19/07/2019 12:16 pm  

show me where in your own words  where the constructive critisim is? your wantin me to make MY SONG into what you consider a good song to be below is your words, I want keep goin back and forth on this with you or anyone else 

tbh , i dont know who in their right mind , would wanna sing this . to me , it just comes across as some cheating / phillandering guy who wants people to feel sorry for him , when really its his wife that deserves our pity . in my opinion it needs a major rewrite , to make the singer / character more likeable


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piq
 piq
(@piq)
Eminent Member
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Posts: 22
19/07/2019 12:23 pm  

at the moment , you have a self pitying phillanderer at the heart of your song . i suggested to you , that you make him more likeable , and to give him some redeemable qualities , and you dont consider that to be constructive criticism ?


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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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19/07/2019 12:32 pm  

ok pig you write a verse that makes him more likeable  and I will look at it, that's fair no more words show me some action

This post was modified 1 month ago by AllfortheLord

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piq
 piq
(@piq)
Eminent Member
Joined: 5 months ago
Posts: 22
19/07/2019 1:01 pm  

look at it from my point of view allfordthelord , why would i want to help someone who clearly dosent respect my opinion ? why would i want to help someone who just accidentally called me pig ? the way i see it , nothing i come up with , is gonna be good enough for you , coz you already believe your song has no flaws , so why should i waste my time rewriting parts of your song ?


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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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19/07/2019 1:09 pm  

good just stay away from my lyrics 


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piq
 piq
(@piq)
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Joined: 5 months ago
Posts: 22
20/07/2019 6:27 am  

in future allforthelord , when you post a lyric , make it clear at the top of your post , that youre not looking for any suggestions on how to improve your work . that way we can avoid any more unpleasantness


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NEIL COTTON
(@neil-cotton)
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Posts: 72
20/07/2019 8:25 am  

WOW...it's posts like these that kill forums

>>A simple...thanks for your input. I've considered your point (and am moving on.)


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NEIL COTTON
(@neil-cotton)
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Posts: 72
20/07/2019 8:27 am  

Note to allforthelord...go third person He and She


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AllfortheLord
(@allforthelord)
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Joined: 5 months ago
Posts: 163
20/07/2019 10:05 am  
Posted by: NEIL COTTON

Note to allforthelord...go third person He and She

see now that's a great idea, and will use it because it keeps everything the same but different


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