Ghost Dance  

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YrralMallik
(@yrralmallik)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 9 months ago
Posts: 155
12/02/2020 4:07 pm  

Ghost Dance

We're out here on the prairies doing the ghost dance.

Honoring our forefathers in the dance....

By chance if you should see us come join us in the ghost dance.

Look over there there's injun Joe with his Eagle featherd head dress.

We're sitting around the fire smoking the peace pipe.

Pass it all around puff puff pass puff puff pass.

The Indian maidens are doing there dance of love.

They each have theirs eyes on the brave indians lads.

The teepees are all set up for the marriage ceremony.

This is the night these brave indiand lads and maidens are wed.

This is the night they're going io make love

This is the night that many new maidens and braves will come from.

We're out here on the prairies doing the ghost dance.

Honoring our forefathers in the dance....

By chance if you should see us join us in the ghost dance.

Look over there there's injun Joe with his Eagle featherd head dress.

© Copyright Jan 13th 2016 10:00 P.M. All Rights Reserved

Larry Gordon Killam (SOCAN/ASCAP)

(;Yrral Mallik Publishing;);)

Larry G. Killam


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Deacon
(@deacon)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 172
13/02/2020 1:53 pm  

Hello Larry, the title of this lyric is enticing, it makes the reader curious.  There are many visual lines which make your audience want to know more, and you repeat "Ghost Dance", four times in the lyric which helps your audience remember the hook, and you let the reader know the "Ghost Dance" is to honor their forefathers.  There are some distractions which may confuse your audience.  You describe the Indian maidens, the love dance, the Indian lads, and the marriage ceremony, the audience is left to wonder, is this part of the "Ghost Dance"?  The visual on page structure doesn't help the reader to know where a verse ends, where a chorus begins and ends, and if there is a bridge or rest.  Many times your audience (reader) will not take the time to study your lyric without the help of these aids, as there is no music to assist.  I only mention these things to help bring more attention to your lyric.  Good luck and best wishes,

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song.


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YrralMallik
(@yrralmallik)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 9 months ago
Posts: 155
13/02/2020 2:03 pm  

@deacon

Thanks for Da Reply Deacon I hear you Man.I leave all of Dat Stuff up to my co-writers since I only write Da Lyrics.

Larry G. Killam


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Deacon
(@deacon)
A Night To ReMember
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 172
13/02/2020 2:39 pm  

I understand, good luck with this lyric and best wishes, I would like to hear the song once it is complete, hope you share it with us.

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song.


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